Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize