Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
