Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
