i just wanna soil my oats bro
Someone shit on the floor
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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