garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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