He kissed a someone with a penis
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
