Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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