hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
