Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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