Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
