I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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