i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
