My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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