Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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