what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
