Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
