Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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