Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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