Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
