I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
