Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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