he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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