U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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