i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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