If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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