Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
