somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
