my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
