this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
