My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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