another moral hangover. fuck.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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