Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
