I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
