fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
