Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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