i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize