How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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