And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
