Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
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I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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