Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
