Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We're too hungover to prance.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
