I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
