i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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