did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
