So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
