In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
