do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
