I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Let's get the cat blown out
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
