Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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