remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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