also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize