if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
