I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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