I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
