The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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