I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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